Monday 13 January 2014

Fa Lalalalaaaa Ka


Christmas and New Year in Thailand

Back home there’s a tradition called The Twelve Pubs of Christmas.  As usual, for an Irish custom, it involves drinking copious amounts of alcohol with a pack of rowdy rebels.  For anyone who hasn’t heard of it, it’s a Christmas pub crawl where you visit twelve different pubs.  I decided to introduce it to the multinational farang residents of NS.  Decorated with Santa hats and Christmas bells we met at a bar, where the clever ones lined their stomachs, and set off on a route I had devised that would take us to eleven other bars around Sawan Park.  On the arrival of the bill I learned that pub crawls are a bit of a task in NS.  Bars serve beer to your table in large bottles and the waiting staff refill as they see your drink depleting so you never know how much you’ve drunk compared to your friends.  There’s no such thing as going to the bar for a pint or paying as you go, it’s all put on one bill.  So, for ease of calculation, bills are split evenly yet, with all large groups, there’s always a spot of confusion.  So we learned that a Thai pub crawl is more time, and brain cell, consuming than an Irish one.  But we decided to crack on with a ‘one drink per bar’ rule to speed things up.

The second bar was a little place decked out with wooden benches that played country and western music…Thai style.  It was a welcome change from the plastic pop the Thai bars usually pump out.  The table alongside us were certainly enjoying themselves, their clapping and stomping shaking every table in their periphery.  We had our one drink and called for the bill.  The waitress brought down two more drinks.  Confusion ensued as the clock ticked away our valuable drinking time. 

By bar four we were behind schedule so we decided that ordering shots would be the most effective way of completing our twelve pub assignment.  Not as easy as it sounds, the concept of shots was lost on our perplexed waitresses so we decided to opt for a bottle of vodka between the group.  This had taken so long to communicate in our broken Thai that I was beginning to sober up.  So we downed a couple of vodkas and hurried along.

Bar five was a quaint little bar with a fantastic name, ‘Fine Thanks’, and a special offer on beer.  The staff were highly amused by our Christmas garb that they joined in on wearing our festive props, my Santa hat eventually ended up with the waitress who I’m convinced may be still wearing it, she was that excited.  We decided it was about time for some Christmas tunes and, as the staff were already sucked into our Christmas vibe, we handed the waitress an iPod.  It was a surreal experience sitting in an open air Thai bar in the evening heat listening to ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’. 

We waved goodbye, still with an agenda to get through and very little of the night, or our sobriety, ahead of us.  Bar six was a bit hazy if I’m honest, vodka shots were swirling through the BOGOF beers in my tummy and I was starting to lose my eyesight. 

Bar seven was the final stop of the evening, the infamous Bon Bon, where we danced like lunatics and attempted to balance out the fluids in our systems with a bit of water, but it was too late.  Inebriation had set in and the next morning was a bit of a struggle to say the least.  But, I was pleased with the final result.  Despite the obstacles of Thai bar customs, a language barrier and the absence of quick shots to speed things up (a blessing in disguise) we still managed to check 7 out of 12 bars off our list.  I think that’s an achievement, even in Ireland.

So, already in the Christmas spirit, with our tiny Christmas tree grasping onto the tonnes of baubles and Christmas lights we’d strapped to it, my flatmates and I begun our countdown to Christmas.  We indulged in festive movies, music and the obligatory box of Cadburys Heroes, but it still felt like a reconstruction of Christmas.  I was still looking out on blazing sunshine, watching beautiful orange glowy sunsets and walking around in the kind of temperatures Ireland gets for about a week in May, if they’re lucky.  It just didn’t feel 100% Christmas.  So I decided on an alternative plan for the day of the baby Jesus’ birthday, I was going to go for breakfast in the sun and a steak dinner, still centred around food but the ‘special occasion treat’ kind of food that you don’t get every day….and it was lovely.  It was so unlike Christmas, yet still a luxury, that I didn’t miss home like I thought I would.  Dinner was fillet steak and red wine at a price tag that would make my eyes water at any other time of the year, but at Christmas extravagance is mandatory.  I must tell you that the “extravagance” I speak of was still cheaper than a steak dinner at home but, here it’s my monthly utility bill.


On St Stephen’s Day (Boxing Day to you Brits) I packed my rucksack and caught a minivan to Bangkok, I was headed Ko Samet way!  KS is a small island south east of Bangkok, off the coast of Rayong.  I had an itinerary similar to that on Ko Tao – reading, suntan, the occasional cocktail and, this time, to ring in 2014 on the mother funkin beach, YES!  I spent as much time as possible in the sunshine, to hell with sunstroke, I was getting a tan.  I read, I listened to music, I swam, I drank beer for pretty much the whole six days.  The biggest difference I found with this holiday than any other was the food I opted for.  Usually a rather experimental eater, I like to eat the local food wherever I go.  This time however I turned into one of those infuriating travellers who insist on western food.  Morto.  In my defense, I have spent four months enjoying the local cuisine in NS and, although I do appreciate Thai food, one can get ‘Thai’d out’.  Anyway, I live in one of the best cities in Thailand for Thai food, I can have it any time I like, quite literally.  If I wanted chicken fried rice for breakfast it’s perfectly normal.  So, on KS where I could get my gnashers round a Mexican fajita, an English cauliflower cheese or an Italian pasta I ordered non Thai food at every meal.  The treat of pancakes for breakfast alone was worth the 9 hour journey down south.  Food glorious food!



New Year’s Eve swooped round yet I was still in a vortex of disbelief.  NYE in the heat?  On the sand?  Wearing a bikini??  I had to have a lie down, so I did…right on the beach with a beer and a book.  I stayed there til the sun sank down the horizon and dissolved into the sea.  That evening I ordered myself an Amaretto Sour and took myself down to the sand to wait for the year 2014 to approach, or 2557 according to the Thai calendar.  With the floating Chinese lanterns over my head, the pop and fizz of the bright rainbow of fireworks and the fire show compliments of the bar my first moment of 2014 was filled with light, may it last long into the year.

Sawat dee pimaï ka!


Images: Sinéad Millea

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