All hail 10 baht bars...oh, and teachers.

The going's on so far...

Flippin’eck, it’s been ages.  Where does the time go?  One minute I’m donning my school shirt and prepping my first lesson of the term and the next I’m planning a mid term holiday.  They say time flies when you’re having fun and, although I’ve mostly been working, I can say that is absolutely true!  So far the school term has been buckets of fun, the little people have been keeping me on my toes and I’m pretty sure I’m losing weight from the belly laughs.  I finally feel like I’m making progress with being a teacher, I’m starting to see the benefit of my lessons on the kids.  When they repeat something they’ve learned in the playground, it feels like I’ve struck gold.  On occasion I found myself woop wooping them, much to their own confusion.  Teacher be crazy…

Wan Wai Kru floral arrangements on display at the school

This term we celebrated a special day for teachers, called Wan Wai Kru, which, as far as I understand, translates as ‘day to respect teachers’.  The kids make floral arrangements, similar to lois used during Loi Krathong, to present to their teachers in a ceremony that takes place at school.  The kids present their flowers and bow before the teachers.  I expected it to solely concentrate on the Thai staff who work tirelessly, not only teaching the kids for the majority of the school day but also writing daily reports, prepping crafts and general duties within the school.  On the day the foreign language teachers all lined up as spectators, but when our classes were rising to present their bouquets we were too called up to receive them.  At first I felt uncomfortable having the children bow before me but it was a humbling, yet special experience.  At home we don’t have an event that shows gratitude to teachers, so it was an alien concept to me to thank someone so ceremoniously for doing their job.  However, since becoming a teacher I’ve wondered what the kids I teach will take away from their kindergarten experience and I look back at mine and remember, not the details of each day but rather the feelings I felt whilst being there.  I felt safe at kindergarten, I forged my first friendships with peers, my teacher was a familiar face and I trusted her enough to leave my Mother every day.  Kindergarten was my first experience of feeling secure outside my family and my teacher played a huge part in giving me that sense of security.  So, school syllabus aside, I think a teacher plays a vital role in a child’s life.  You’ve got Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and even Grandparent’s Day, so why not ‘Teacher’s Day’?  So, I started to accept the bowing and left the school hall feeling all warm and squishy.  Then, in my afternoon lesson, still feeling the love, I got puked on.  Warm milk puke.  All over me.  Swings and roundabouts.

Finish line!

For the month of June I got stuck into a training schedule in preparation for a 10k run.  I was feeling a bit rootless and aimless, one of the side effects of living a temporary life in a foreign culture, so I signed on for the run and got my arse down to the gym.  I was on a strict diet of yoga (at which I am spectacularly rubbish, I am convinced that Thai people are mostly made of elastic and I am mostly made of concrete), swimming, walking, weight training and, of course, running.  I started out pretty awful, with my thighs screaming at me to slow the hell down.  I blame Florence and The Machine, you run to that and you’ll find yourself in Cambodia by sundown.  Not surprisingly I limped my way around Sawan Park for most of my runs.  I tried a selection of stretches I found on the internet and spent my evenings lying on my tiled floor contorted around a skipping rope.  Luckily my flatmates are imperturbable.  Anyway my regime was successful and, not only did I complete the run in a respectable time, I raised some dosh for a worthy charity and now my skirts fit better.

I was feeling elated, and excited about stuffing my face with a proper English breakfast, when disaster struck.  My ‘carb loaded’ dinner of seafood pasta from the previous night came back to haunt me and I found myself with food poisoning that floored me for the rest of my celebratory Sunday.  I tentatively ate a 7Eleven toastie on Monday afternoon and started to feel vaguely human again.  On Monday morning one of my colleagues queried if I was “mai sabai” which means unwell, and I nodded meekly.  I since learned that ‘mai sabai’ can also mean ‘hungover’ so I may have mistakenly earned a bad reputation amongst the Thai members of staff.  Moral of the story: if there’s a chance you may be allergic to anything don’t take your chances with it the night before a 10k run.  I should know this by now, but that’s another story…

Breakfast view, pretty even in the rain

On the following weekend the country celebrated Asarnha Bucha Day, which to my knowledge is the celebration of the Buddha’s first public sermon.  Thai people flock to their hometowns to visit their local temples and farangs flock to tourist destinations to take advantage of the cheap low season rates.  I ventured down to Kanchanaburi, which isn’t very far south of Nakhon Sawan, but the route is to go way south to go back north again so I spent almost 8 hours trundling along the highway with broken air con.  I arrived feeling the onset of a sinus infection (honestly, I’m like the geek we all knew at school who was constantly sick) which slashed my plans of hiking and swimming in glorious waterfalls.  I checked into my room and went foraging for food and found a cute little restaurant where I had a western meal and a glass of wine.  The waitress brought the wine down in a coffee mug and explained to me that because of the holiday it was forbidden to serve alcohol.  After my gruelling journey I almost hugged her for getting around it and I enjoyed every last sip of that wine before hitting the hay for the evening.

The next morning I woke up bright and breezy, and headed out to find a breakfast with a view and boy, did I find one!  A guesthouse on a neighbouring street had an infinity pool with a view of the River Kwai with mountains melting into the distance and free coffee!  So I settled in with my book for the morning and ordered the softest most fluffy pancakes known to man.  After hours had been whiled I wandered down the main street towards two of the big tourist attractions in Kanchanaburi, the Death Railway and the JEATH War Museum.  I had no knowledge of the impact of WW2 on this side of the world but my saunter through the museum gave me an insight into something that I think most countries at war fail to see, when you get down to basics, we’re all the same.  Whilst I pored over the personal items that belonged to the various soldiers stationed in Thailand I noticed we all have the same aspirations, fears, hopes and daily routines.  The old typewriters, shoes, bicycles, grooming equipment and kitchen utensils housed behind glass all echoed the ghosts of the people who once used them, people like you and me, and I wondered to myself, “why the hell were they all bombing the shite out of each other, weren’t they all the same?”  It seems that some things never change.

One of On's other students cooking Tom Yum

Feeling hungry and in need of a more positive life affirming experience I turned to food, naturally, and took a Thai cookery class.  I met with On at On’s Thai Isaan, a vegetarian restaurant on the River Kwai Road (Mae Nam Kwai).  I chose three dishes from her menu to learn, Pad Krapow which is a rice dish with Thai basil and anything you want to add (I like crispy pork – Pad Krapow Moo Glop), Pad Thai and Penang which is a yummy curry with coconut milk.  Once each dish was cooked I was escorted into the restaurant and invited to eat the whole thing while On prepped for the next dish.  You can imagine how I felt after the third dish.  The words ‘beached’ and ‘whale’ easily come to mind.  After my three dinners On showed me how to make an extra dish, my favourite Thai dessert, mango and coconut sticky rice.  It was like Christmas dinner, Thai style.  How I wished I’d worn elastic waisted trousers!  I rolled back to my room via a bar that was serving beer out of takeaway coffee cups, getting around the ol’ alcohol ban again, although it’s pretty obvious what’s going on when you see a bar from across the street filled with jolly people drinking out of takeaway coffee cups.  Got to love the Thai ‘let’s try it til we get told otherwise’ approach to problem solving.  In a way I think they’re rather like the Irish in that respect, many times I’ve heard at home, “Ah sher, 'tis grand, we’ll change it if someone says anything” and really meaning, ‘then we’ll change it back once they’re gone’.  From one rebel city to another.

I finished off my weekend away at a quirky little establishment that I was very excited to visit, a 10 baht bar, which was one of various stalls set up on the street comprising of a little bar packed with bottles and hugged by stools lined up along the pavement with a makeshift table on the road made of a 2x4 and some paint can stools.  Most of the drinks were 10 baht, some costing 20 or 30.  I decided to be classy and went for the mid range 20 baht whiskey and coke.  None of the cheap stuff for me, I have my standards.  They had homemade fruit flavoured mixers which were either tasty or my taste buds were numbed by the incredibly gross Blueberry flavoured shot I sampled.  Alcoholic stereotypes aside, as an Irish person, who once spent the best part of a tenner on one drink (a G&T in Dublin, never again), the chance to go to a bar and spend 46 cent per drink is an exciting prospect and I partook repeatedly throughout the evening.  On the plus side, the drinks are presumably watered down as I managed to journey back to Nakhon Sawan hangover free, or ‘sabai’ as they would say here, and with some cash still in my wallet.  

http://onsthaiissan.com/

Images: Sinéad Millea & 10k shot courtesy of Cassidi Hunkler.

Sawat Dee Pi Mai Ka….erm, again.

Songkran in Chiang Mai. 

It seems the phrase of the moment is ‘Happy New Year’, for I have celebrated it three different times so far this year.  The most recent being the Thai New Year celebration, called Songkran.  It is a three day festival when traditionally elders and monks are paid respect by dousing them with fragrant water originally used to cleanse the Buddha.  The festival has evolved and the younger generation has introduced water fights on the streets, a welcome activity in the height of dry season.  The most famous place to celebrate Songkran is Chiang Mai so my friends and I stocked up on water pistols and flowery shirts (as is the custom) and bundled ourselves into a minivan for the red eye journey to the biggest water fight in the world.
 

We arrived before dawn on the day before the festivities were due to begin, had a strong coffee and headed to our hostel.  Usually in Thailand is unnecessary to prebook anything but, during Songkran, rooms and transport are scarce so we prebooked a month in advance, and even at that we were lucky.  We decided to be tourists on the first day so headed upland to Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, the temple at the top of Doi Suthep Mountain.  As Songkran is a Buddhist festival it was nice to see the locals paying respect to the Buddha by pouring water over the shoulders of the statues, which is believed to bring good luck and prosperity for the new year.  The temple is one of the most elaborate I’ve seen so far, with 309 steps to access the pagodas.  I later found out via Wikipedia that there is a tram.  Best I just forget I read that, Wikipedia’s not always accurate anyway, right?  The stairs were lined on both sides with decorative four headed dragons leading the way to the glistening gold Chedi at the top.  We descended to meet our Sorngthaew driver for our journey back to our hostel.  Little did we know before setting off that morning that the Songkran celebrations were already in full flow, pardon the pun, and that Sorngthaews and Tuk Tuks would be prime targets for buckets of ice cold water.  We got drenched and had a little taster of what was to come in the following days. 

After dinner and drinks at a little bar adjacent to the hostel, we tucked ourselves into bed at the respectable hour of 3am, full of Thai rum and excitement.  The next morning was blurry so the first bucket of water down my neck was a welcome hangover cure.  The 73 that followed made me feel even better.  We ventured out to the heart of the hoopla, where there were stages pumping out music, hoses pumping our foam and water and Thai ladyboys throwing some serious shapes.  The name of the game is fun.  At no other time and no other place is it so socially acceptable to walk up to someone, hover a bucket of water over them and soak them to the skin.  So, like naughty school children, we partook with delight.  Within minutes of going outside we were drenched right through.  Walking through the streets we got buckets lobbed in our faces, quite fiercely, by other foreigners.  I preferred the Thai approach of gently pouring it over ones shoulders and whispering, “sawat dee pi mai ka” (happy new year).  Some of the backpackers took it a bit too far hurling it in people’s faces, like a watery slap.  The Thai people were very inclusive and welcomed us with a trickle of water and a splodge of wet talc, which is smeared on the face as a blessing.  

On the second day we decided to set up camp at a bar, where we could seek refuge inside until we were ready to go to water wars with the group of Scandinavian boys we encountered there.  Plus, we had a ready supply of beer and music.  Outside, our victims were Tuk Tuks, Sorngthaews and any pretty girls the boys decided to soak through with their massive bucket.  Although the streets were awash, it was business as usual on the roads with traffic in full flow.  I resisted any urge to fling water on motorcyclists, although they were not immune to the chaos.  Nobody was safe, apart from little old ladies who managed to hobble around remaining completely dry.   

On the final day we really went for it and stayed out as late as possible wandering the streets for playmates.  As it was the last day everyone took it up a notch and I think I was the wettest I had ever been, if that is possible.  People danced on the streets and lobbed buckets of water from pick up trucks.  It was the biggest, and wettest, street party I’ve ever attended…and I was there for the Queens Jubilee, not even the British rain could soak me through as much as several buckets of water fresh from the moat in Chiang Mai.

On the following day the streets were tranquil and dry.  Although I had the most fun since arriving in Thailand, I was relieved to see an end to the soggy pandemonium as I had scheduled a Tuk Tuk ride to the bus station for my return journey to Nakhon Sawan.  I arrived at the station dry and tired, and made my way back to my own bed.  For the last time this year (I think), sawat dee pi mai ka!

Images: Cassidi Hunkler & Jennifer Kimmerling.

Hail To The Heffalumps!

Baanchang Elephant Park

After 6 months in Thailand I decided it was time to visit some elephants.  I ventured north to Chiang Mai and booked into Baanchang Elephant Park, after some research into reputable places that treat their animals humanely.  Baanchang stood out as a pretty good bet according to Tripadvisor although there were a few negative comments on there regarding the tool the Mahouts (elephant keepers) use for behaviour management and the chains on the elephants feet.  I went with an open mind and an alert eye to check it out for myself.

My friends and I were picked up from our guesthouse bright and breezy by our guide Aof.  A little jaunt around Chiang Mai to collect our team for the day and we were on the road to Baanchang.  The journey took us upland into a beautiful setting of jungle and mountains and I was beginning to regret the several bottles of Chang beer from the night before…my first ‘Changover’ as they call it here.  I tumbled out of the van gasping for air to eliminate the queasiness, vowing to never drink beer again, at least until this evening. 

We assembled to be welcomed by Aof and given some mahout clothing, a fetching denim pyjamas, to protect us from the spiky elephant hair.  Next we were led outside where the elephants were hungrily waiting for feeding time.  We were shown how to hand them bananas and sugar cane so they could whip their trucks around them and shovel the food into their mouths.  They were greedy impatient creatures, one even thumped me on the back whilst I had a photo taken…or perhaps he wanted to get in shot.

After the beasts had their fill we were shown how to mount an elephant, we learned the commands used to get him to lower himself to the ground and also to move in the directions you want him to go.  I watched as my team mates proudly soared into the sky on the animal’s neck and dreaded my turn.  As you may remember from a while back, I have a crippling fear of heights and I’m sorry to say my climbing experience back in Bristol did not cure me.  The thought of being high up on an animal so colossal it could trod on me left me shaky and hot.  I swallowed my fear and clambered on top of the elephant, god help him, and as he raised his body from the ground I saw my life flash before my eyes.  My heart beat like a thousand drums and I lost all thought from my head, apart from “get me the hell down!”  I couldn’t shake it, I had to descend.  There’ll be no elephant riding for me today, or any day.  I spent the rest of the day on the ground but nonetheless I had a fantastic fear free experience.  

After lunch of delicious fried rice and fresh fruit, I followed as the Mahouts led the elephants and their human cargo around the park, uphill through jungle and down to a watering hole where the animals enjoyed bath time.  I grabbed a bucket and a scrubbing brush and joined in at this stage, and I think I enjoyed the bath experience as much as Mr Elephant who was lying on one side lapping up the attention.

After bath time I was soaked and possibly carrying remnants of elephant excrement in my clothing so I was eager to have a shower myself.  We were shown to our rooms, in a very comfortable building reserved for overnight visitors.  I had a lovely hot shower and headed down, clean and refreshed, for dinner.  We had a delicious meal of red curry, rice, stir fried veg, fresh fruit and access to a fridge full of beer with an honesty box type system – write down what you take and pay tomorrow.  This is just an example of the laid back atmosphere in the park, but not at all reflecting their attitude to health and safety which was rock solid.  I felt safe at all times there and the aforementioned doubts gleaned from the Tripadvisor comments were dissolved when Aof explained to us that the elephants’ feet are chained during feeding time to keep the animals and visitors safe.  The animals are mostly rescued from elephant shows and bad owners and have many emotional, aswell as physical, scars.  These elephants are anxious creatures who are undergoing rehabilitation and rebuilding their trust in humans.  If anything were to happen to spook them, ie low flying airplanes or the crackles of distant forest fires, they would panic and bolt.  The Mahouts have to be near and keep them secured to the ground to keep visitors safe.  Another concern on Tripadvisor is the tool used for behavioural management, it is called an Elephant Hook and the use of this was explained very clearly by Aof, it’s a communication tool used to keep the elephants under control.  The skin of an elephant is 2 inches thick so it may seem brutal to see a Mahout thumping an animal but they need to use force if that animal is going to feel it and understand the command.  Imagine a mouse giving you a nudge, he’s going to have to kickbox you to get your attention.  I saw animals getting the odd thump while at Baanchang but mostly what I witnessed was a deep respect and care for the welfare of these animals, and a careful maintenance of the health and safety policy regarding visitors.

We enjoyed an evening of beer in hammocks, how much more relaxed can one get?  However, our hour of recreation was interrupted by the crackling sound of wood on fire.  What could possibly be…..oh bugger!  We ran up in the direction of our rooms, which were surrounded by jungle, to find a forest fire in full flow.  Panic stations!  Grab passports!  Where’s the rescue bus?  Why isn’t anyone implementing an evacuation prodecure?  Ah, it’s a controlled fire, s’ok, chill out, it’s all good.  I was only pretending to panic!  The staff at the park had set a fire as there was a forest fire headed our way, so as the saying goes, fight fire with fire.  The result is that once the forest fire reaches us there will be nothing left to burn.  Panic over, let’s get back to the beer.  By the way, my friends and I were still clutching our cans of lager.  Anyone want to play ‘Spot the Irish’?

The following day we had a tasty breakfast outdoors and then set off for a day of hiking

and rafting, as part of the package we booked.  We were handed over to another guide who took us trekking up through the jungle to a pretty waterfall where we had a refreshing swim.  We trekked back down through the trees and streams to the river where we were kitted out with helmets and oars and given a crash coarse in white water rafting.  Again, my fearfulness took hold and I was a bag of nerves getting into the boat.  The water slushing around on the inside wasn’t a reassuring sign at all.  Shortly the water in the boat was explained as our playful guide started sloshing water at us as we trundled over and through gaps in the rocks.  Luckily for me it wasn’t so much ‘white’ water rafting as simple calm rafting.  No fast rapids so a nice pleasant float along the river, to the disappointment of my comrades, but I was smiling on the inside.  We were told that after wet season the river can rise several feet, again I was relieved at our timing.  We disembarked our inflated vessel in favour of a rickety bamboo raft for a little meander along the remainder

of our route, a calm shallow part of the river leading to our lunch quarters.  We were given some delicious fried rice wrapped in banana leaves before being bundled back onto the truck to visit a Karen Hilltribe village nearby.  The village is one that had a repuatation for growing opium but, following a scheme implemented by the King, they are now proudly farming and growing food.  We were met by local village women selling trinkets so I dutifully bought a bracelet for the tidy sum of 40 baht and set off for a little stroll to the top of the hill.  A beautiful vista opened out before us, jungle, flowers, a cute little Catholic chapel that looked like it was plucked straight from a rural European village.  We headed back down towards our truck where some kids were playing a game I had long forgotten about, we used to call it ‘Elastics’.  My friend and I looked at eachother with a mutual nostalgia, amazing that childhood games seem to travel the world over and find their way in any language.

We were later dropped off at our Guesthouse in Chiang Mai where we exchanged accounts of our experiences over a few bottles of Chang (I’ll never learn my lesson).  The general consensus is that the place is a very positive sanctuary for elephants but the group was divided in it’s opinions on the hooks and chains.  The jury is out on that one but each to their own.  We all agreed it was a positive experience.  In Thailand, elephants are lucky so I’m hoping I’ve soaked up enough good luck to get me through the year. 

http://baanchangelephantpark.com/

Images: Sinéad Millea.

Happy New Year....again.

Chinese New Year in Nakhon Sawan 

When celebrating new year’s eve, it always feel like the year’s flown by super quick so you can imagine what it was like to be wishing people a happy new year again in February.  But this time was different, it was Chinese New Year and I was in the midst of one of the biggest celebrations in Thailand, comparable to Christmas back home.  With a considerable Chinese population, Nakhon Sawan hosts a spectacular festival, spanning 11 days of acrobatics, street markets, Chinese theatre, Shaolin monk performances and dragon & lion shows. 

The excitement started building as early as my arrival in NS, when I could hear the drummers practising their beats as the giant dragon show began rehearsals.  On seeing the live show I realised the importance of the lengthy rehearsals, it was like nothing I’ve ever seen before, the city really pulls out all the stops in getting this show together.  The markets were erected at the beginning of the festivities and huge crowds of locals and visitors started buzzing through the streets, the glowing red of the lanterns and flags guiding the way through the tunnels of street stalls that sold clothing, accessories and Chinese gifts at a flippin’ steal!

The Chao Praya river was covered temporarily with a stage and seating area with a small section aside for food stalls and this was where the nightly live performances were held.  Everything from Shaolin monks wielding swords to Chinese dragons doing acrobatics, it was an impressive display of Chinese pride.  Although my Thai is slowly improving I am, by no means, a Thai speaker so when something is happening here I have only farang hearsay to go on, so I just turned up to the hoopla with zero expectations, settled in and enjoyed the show.  It was a refreshing change from my previous new year’s shindigs and their immense pressure to have a good time…ultimately ending in an anti climactic hangover on Jan 1^st.  

The New Year parade was an array of light, music and glamour.  Floats carrying beautiful ladies and fluffy Chinese lions drifted through the evening humidity.  The show came to a stunning finale with a giant dragon scaling a pole via some very nimble acrobats.  The movements of the dragons and lions were so lifelike it was easy to forget the people tucked underneath operating eye and ear movements aswell as body.  

The following morning the day parade was held and the beautiful ladies had their costumes, hair and make up immaculately reapplied for another jaunt through the city.  This time, the dragon galloped through the streets visiting shops to bless them with good luck.  In just a few hours, the parade dissolved and was pursued by a team of street cleaners hurriedly making the streets spick and span and that was the end of Chinese New Year.  I have no doubt the organisers slept solidly that whole day - I did, I was pooped! 

Images: Sinéad Millea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVB7r2l333Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoGivKOFEFE

Rollin' In The Deep

Loi Krathong

Stop the lights!!  I forgot to tell ye about Loi Krathong!  Get comfy and I’ll fill ya in. Loi Krathong is an annual Thai holiday whereby people make buoyant floral decorations, called Lois (loys) which they float on the water.  The purpose being to pay gratitude to the river for the rainy season.  It takes place in November during the full moon.  In NS it took place on November 17th both at the lake within the park and at the edge of the Chao Praya river. 

I had been told about the popularity of the ritual, and how Thai people use it to let their hair down and party so we booked a tuk tuk to pick us up at the new gaff nice and early…at least we hoped that’s what we asked for as our regular tuk tuk driver speaks absolutely no English except when he’s mimicking us and chuckling at our crap attempts at speaking Thai.  Sure enough he turned up with very smartly combed hair and chuckling a little bit more than usual…

He drove like his tuk tuk was on fire and pulled U-turns you wouldn’t see in any of the Fast and Furious movies.  It slowly began to dawn on us that our chauffeur had had a few ‘scoops’.  I clutched the tuk tuk for dear life as we swerved around trucks on the highway.  I vowed that if I was to get through this alive I would be good, even to Justin Bieber fans.  We arrived at the riverside where there were stalls lined up selling fruit, beer, freshly cooked food, fireworks, Lois and floating lanterns.  I safely dismounted hoping I wouldn’t encounter any JB fans; I wasn’t ready to pay my debt just yet.  I stopped at a loi stall and purchased a pretty one with pink flowers and a candle, aswell as a floating lantern.  As usual, the group of farangs attracted a lot of attention, with lots of hellos being hurled in our direction.  I think the locals were pleased to see us getting stuck in. 

We headed down to the water’s edge, lit the candles on our lois and floated them off with the current.  There’s a custom whereby people put money in their lois as an offering to the river spirits.  The Thais are very spiritual and even erect ‘spirit houses’ outside their homes in order to provide shelter for the spirits who, it is believed, can cause problems if left to roam free – rather like the custom of erecting bird houses in your garden back home.  The loi donation could be a nice little earner for river spirits if it weren’t for the pesky brutes who get into the water and wade around looking for donations to steal.  Although this is a situation which seems abhorrent to me, I live in a country with incomprehensible poverty so I shall desist judging someone who steals donations in order to feed their families.  But, should they spend the money on an iPhone then let the river spirits strike them down.

After watching my loi drift off down the Chao Praya river I made my way back up the bank where floating lanterns were being lit, along with sparklers that got attached to the bottoms.  As the hot air pulled the lanterns upwards with speed, the connecting sparklers fizzed and glowed.  The sky was so filled with light that it seemed like a theatre of fairies were dancing overhead.  The lanterns kept floating right through the evening as more people turned up with their well wishes for the river spirits.  I lit my lantern and let it fill with hot air til it gently nudged it’s way upwards bidding me farewell.  I remember trying to set these off back in Cork on my Dad’s 30^th anniversary with the most farcical results whereby lanterns were flying in all directions, towards rooftops, treetops, dogs, nothing was safe.  At the time it was pretty humorous as Dad was a bit of a joker and probably would have loved the chaos of the situation.  This time my lantern floated without a hitch, well almost.  The sparkler flew off and hissed to the ground where it was kicked away, landing right on top of my flatmate’s feet…in flip flops.  So having survived erratic tuk tuk drivers, hissing sparklers, self combusting lanterns (some weren’t so lucky) and fireworks manned by drunken locals I’d say we need to be on our best behaviour from now on…maybe even to JB himself.

Images: Sinéad Millea.

Fa Lalalalaaaa Ka

Christmas and New Year in Thailand

Back home there’s a tradition called The Twelve Pubs of Christmas.  As usual, for an Irish custom, it involves drinking copious amounts of alcohol with a pack of rowdy rebels.  For anyone who hasn’t heard of it, it’s a Christmas pub crawl where you visit twelve different pubs.  I decided to introduce it to the multinational farang residents of NS.  Decorated with Santa hats and Christmas bells we met at a bar, where the clever ones lined their stomachs, and set off on a route I had devised that would take us to eleven other bars around Sawan Park.  On the arrival of the bill I learned that pub crawls are a bit of a task in NS.  Bars serve beer to your table in large bottles and the waiting staff refill as they see your drink depleting so you never know how much you’ve drunk compared to your friends.  There’s no such thing as going to the bar for a pint or paying as you go, it’s all put on one bill.  So, for ease of calculation, bills are split evenly yet, with all large groups, there’s always a spot of confusion.  So we learned that a Thai pub crawl is more time, and brain cell, consuming than an Irish one.  But we decided to crack on with a ‘one drink per bar’ rule to speed things up.

The second bar was a little place decked out with wooden benches that played country and western music…Thai style.  It was a welcome change from the plastic pop the Thai bars usually pump out.  The table alongside us were certainly enjoying themselves, their clapping and stomping shaking every table in their periphery.  We had our one drink and called for the bill.  The waitress brought down two more drinks.  Confusion ensued as the clock ticked away our valuable drinking time. 

By bar four we were behind schedule so we decided that ordering shots would be the most effective way of completing our twelve pub assignment.  Not as easy as it sounds, the concept of shots was lost on our perplexed waitresses so we decided to opt for a bottle of vodka between the group.  This had taken so long to communicate in our broken Thai that I was beginning to sober up.  So we downed a couple of vodkas and hurried along.

Bar five was a quaint little bar with a fantastic name, ‘Fine Thanks’, and a special offer on beer.  The staff were highly amused by our Christmas garb that they joined in on wearing our festive props, my Santa hat eventually ended up with the waitress who I’m convinced may be still wearing it, she was that excited.  We decided it was about time for some Christmas tunes and, as the staff were already sucked into our Christmas vibe, we handed the waitress an iPod.  It was a surreal experience sitting in an open air Thai bar in the evening heat listening to ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’. 

We waved goodbye, still with an agenda to get through and very little of the night, or our sobriety, ahead of us.  Bar six was a bit hazy if I’m honest, vodka shots were swirling through the BOGOF beers in my tummy and I was starting to lose my eyesight. 

Bar seven was the final stop of the evening, the infamous Bon Bon, where we danced like lunatics and attempted to balance out the fluids in our systems with a bit of water, but it was too late.  Inebriation had set in and the next morning was a bit of a struggle to say the least.  But, I was pleased with the final result.  Despite the obstacles of Thai bar customs, a language barrier and the absence of quick shots to speed things up (a blessing in disguise) we still managed to check 7 out of 12 bars off our list.  I think that’s an achievement, even in Ireland.

So, already in the Christmas spirit, with our tiny Christmas tree grasping onto the tonnes of baubles and Christmas lights we’d strapped to it, my flatmates and I begun our countdown to Christmas.  We indulged in festive movies, music and the obligatory box of Cadburys Heroes, but it still felt like a reconstruction of Christmas.  I was still looking out on blazing sunshine, watching beautiful orange glowy sunsets and walking around in the kind of temperatures Ireland gets for about a week in May, if they’re lucky.  It just didn’t feel 100% Christmas.  So I decided on an alternative plan for the day of the baby Jesus’ birthday, I was going to go for breakfast in the sun and a steak dinner, still centred around food but the ‘special occasion treat’ kind of food that you don’t get every day….and it was lovely.  It was so unlike Christmas, yet still a luxury, that I didn’t miss home like I thought I would.  Dinner was fillet steak and red wine at a price tag that would make my eyes water at any other time of the year, but at Christmas extravagance is mandatory.  I must tell you that the “extravagance” I speak of was still cheaper than a steak dinner at home but, here it’s my monthly utility bill.

On St Stephen’s Day (Boxing Day to you Brits) I packed my rucksack and caught a minivan to Bangkok, I was headed Ko Samet way!  KS is a small island south east of Bangkok, off the coast of Rayong.  I had an itinerary similar to that on Ko Tao – reading, suntan, the occasional cocktail and, this time, to ring in 2014 on the mother funkin beach, YES!  I spent as much time as possible in the sunshine, to hell with sunstroke, I was getting a tan.  I read, I listened to music, I swam, I drank beer for pretty much the whole six days.  The biggest difference I found with this holiday than any other was the food I opted for.  Usually a rather experimental eater, I like to eat the local food wherever I go.  This time however I turned into one of those infuriating travellers who insist on western food.  Morto.  In my defense, I have spent four months enjoying the local cuisine in NS and, although I do appreciate Thai food, one can get ‘Thai’d out’.  Anyway, I live in one of the best cities in Thailand for Thai food, I can have it any time I like, quite literally.  If I wanted chicken fried rice for breakfast it’s perfectly normal.  So, on KS where I could get my gnashers round a Mexican fajita, an English cauliflower cheese or an Italian pasta I ordered non Thai food at every meal.  The treat of pancakes for breakfast alone was worth the 9 hour journey down south.  Food glorious food!

 

New Year’s Eve swooped round yet I was still in a vortex of disbelief.  NYE in the heat?  On the sand?  Wearing a bikini??  I had to have a lie down, so I did…right on the beach with a beer and a book.  I stayed there til the sun sank down the horizon and dissolved into the sea.  That evening I ordered myself an Amaretto Sour and took myself down to the sand to wait for the year 2014 to approach, or 2557 according to the Thai calendar.  With the floating Chinese lanterns over my head, the pop and fizz of the bright rainbow of fireworks and the fire show compliments of the bar my first moment of 2014 was filled with light, may it last long into the year.

Sawat dee pimaï ka!

Images: Sinéad Millea

Happy Birthday!

Father’s Day

The people of Thailand know how to manage their calendars, every few weeks there’s a day off for something or other.  Father’s Day is a particularly big one; it falls on King Bhumibol Adulyadej’s birthday as he is regarded as the father of the people, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhumibol_Adulyadej).  Traditionally people wear yellow, the colour of the day the King was born.  Every day has it’s own designated colour in Thailand.  This year was a tricky one with the current political situation* and some people suggested other colours.  I decided to stick with tradition and claim ‘farang immunity’.  We celebrated Father’s Day a day early at school as the actual day is a national holiday when the school is closed.  My school is very active in organising performances so the children put on a show which included their Dads performing music and stories.  It was very sweet to see parents, students and teachers all collaborate to acknowledge the King and their own fathers.  It was even worth having the same music played on loop for a fortnight in an effort to teach the children two songs dedicated to the King.  Mothers Day is also celebrated in conjunction with Queen Sirikit’s birthday in August.  Outside of a political or patriotic agenda, I feel that these holidays bring people together and remind them of how crucial it is to take time with eachother.  I felt the same warm fuzzy feelings around Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee in 2012 when communities worked together to organise street parties and sat down to strawberries and cream with their neighbours and friends.  Yes, public money is spent and yes, not all citizens are fans of the monarchy but yes, we need something positive after all the recession and bailout negativity.  Sit down and have a cucumber sandwich for yourself (or, in Thailand, a kow pad gai).

I had my own selfish reason for appreciating the King’s celebration, a day off.  I swapped my lie in for a 5am rise to head to Bueng Boraphet, a large freshwater swamp just 15 minutes away by car which, in 2002, was declared as a wetland of international importance.  Apparently many species of birds can be seen but, to my untrained eye, they’re all simply called ‘birds’.  One particular feature of the swamp was our very reason for the early rise, we wanted to reach it before sunrise to watch the lotus flowers open.  We arrived to an empty building sat on the edge of the swamp and realised the perils of poor planning.  We had to call for a boat to come pick us up so we watched the sunrise from the edge of the water, DAMN!  Mai pen lai as they say, I have resorted to using this phrase when things go awry as, in Thailand, it’s bad etiquette to throw a tantrum…well, I suppose in any country really but this hasn’t stopped some…  We were collected and set off, engine spluttering, into the swamp.  It stretched as far as the eye could see with not a sinner in sight, we were the only visitors.  This is the beauty of living in a non touristy city, no queues, no whinging vacationers, no Starbucks.  

Above our heads flew flocks of, erm, birds.  We reached a section of the swamp that was absolutely covered with lily pads and lotus flowers.  The pink flowers, luminescent in the sunshine, made for some beautiful pictures and all you could hear amongst the camera shutters was the occasional gasp of awe.

The boat trip last two hours and delivered us back to the jetty where we had earlier grumbled beneath the sunrise, our trip had been as magical as we had hoped afterall.  We headed to the nearby aquarium where we were admitted free on account of the King’s birthday.  Bueng Boraphet Aquarium is built in the shape of a ‘krachaeng’ boat, which was the type of boat used to transport goods along the river to NS.  It contains a fish tunnel where over your head you can see various species of fish.  Again, my knowledge and vocabulary on this subject extends to “fish” but I found the tunnel to be pretty cool indeed.  All the information about the aquatic life is transcribed pretty legibly in English, should one want to extend their knowledge of the creatures swimming around them.  Upstairs there’s a less impressive bird exhibit housing dusty plastic birds shoved into an unconvincing and poorly lit display.  Some laying on their sides as if they got so depressed at being such crap imitations.  If only plastic birds could fly they could have escaped such a gloomy fate.  

After a delicious lunch of grilled chicken, papaya salad and sticky rice by the waterside, we returned to NS by car thanks to a kind member of staff over at the BB info centre.  During the hottest part of the day, the seven of us crowbarred ourselves into this guy’s hatchback with a broken air conditioner.  Imagine a can of sardines in a microwave…

That evening we paid a visit to our hard working smoothie man who was offering free smoothies to mark the birthday of his King.  He toiled all evening blending up refreshing fruit concoctions for nada, there’s dedication to the monarchy if ever I saw it.  We enjoyed ours under a beautiful sunset which glowed the sky pink and red.  Thanks for the free day King Bhumibol, I kinda like this monarch, and he’s into jazz too.

*I’d suggest looking it up rather than read me waffle on, I haven’t an educated opinion on the subject and I’m not particularly interested in politics anyway.

Images: Sinéad Millea.